For the past 48 hours I have kept changing my mind whether to make this blog entry or not, I fully know that there are much, much worse and sad problems in the world but to us on a personal level this has been (and probably will contunue to be until Friday) the most stressful and worrying few days... why - the flippen' ash cloud!!!
In the end I have decided to write down my fears, thoughts and even some totally irrational things I am sure, in the hope it will ease the churning feeling I have inside about what happens if we can't fly on Friday and how we will deliver that news to Harry if the worst comes to the worst:( For us this is now part of the run up to Harry's Make A Wish trip whether we like it or not so I guess deserves a place in the 'story' to read back on one day.
I am normally a great sleeper, infact I can even sleep in a hospital chair with all the noise, lights and mayhem going on and not batter an eyelid:lol: so for me to only have 2 hours broken sleep last night is a huge thing and has really made me release quite how much this trip means to us as a family and the 'lift' we really need to see Harry get from it all.
This weekend was set aside for the pre holiday spring clean and ironing etc, Simon has the weekend off which is not the norm and Zoe and Kirsty are here all day too and we were really looking forward to a busy day of chores and sorting. At 3am this morning I was having in a conversation with myself (like you do!) on whether to still do all that and go about doing what we have planned right up until the moment we leave on Thursday afternoon. One part of me wants to go hide under the duvet until that time and pretend this isn't happening but the stronger side of me that tends to come from somewhere gave myself a good talking too and said to carrying on as normal and not let it spoil anything.
How can you NOT let it spoil it when it is at the back of your mind the entire time? I have in the realms of preservation made plans to phone Make A Wish on Monday and ask the big horrible question of 'what if' so we know what we will be telling Harry is the truth, I know that if one of us was too ill to fly then they just wave that magic wand and reschedule so I am guessing (hoping!) that the same things happens for cancellations.
I am trying not to let my slightly OCD side creep in which keeps wanting to check the NATS sight and Met Office sight like every 2 minutes - why I think there may be a personal message that says right across the screen 'Lorraine do not worry' I don't know but hey postive thinking is good isn't it?
So it is offical I HATE the volcano that lies under the Eyjafjallajokull glacier in Iceland - it sucks!!!